Subject: SANTA AND CLYDE
Author: Rich Marchand
Date: Dec 12, 2003, 3:51 PM
Post ID: 1715486905
This is from an old e-mail.................... SANTA AND CLYDE
'Twas the night before Xmas and Santa was freakin',
the reindeer were on strike and no-one was speaking.
Santa ran through the shop screaming What do I do?"
When Clyde his main elf said "I got something for you!"
Off through the woods to Clyde's shop they did fly,
Huffing and puffing Santa thought he was fixin' to die.
Behind an old sleigh stuffed back in the dust,
A mighty old Guzzi lay covered in rust.
Santa looked at Clyde and said "You been on drugs?"
Clyde replyed "Aah, I'm sure I can work out the bugs."
"Hook up those wires coz I lost the key,
I know I can fix it, you can count on me!"
The carbies they wept and the fuel-tap it dripped,
Idle's a bit weird and the seat it has rips.
The swingarm wobbles, one sidecover is missing,
When it first fires up, lots of clicking and hissing.
Left tank badge is gone, probably never to be found,
That's oil from the breather tube dripping on the ground.
Santa looked at Clyde like he was deranged,
But a sweep of Clyde's wand and things started to change.
The rust disappeared from the paint and the chrome,
Both tyres were trashed and replaced with Bridgestone.
The frame shiny black and the tank Guzzi green,
Santa's getting all psyched by the beauty he's seein'.
Blinding was the light that the headlight now gives,
The licence plate simply said "Guzzimoto lives!"
"Can this really work?" Santa thought, scratching his beard.
Can 60-some horsepower replace those stinkin' deer?"
Time was running out, children's joy was on the line,
Can this glistening beast do all the rooftops in time?
He gave Clyde thumbs up and said "goodbye" to his wife.
A button push later, 850 cc burst into life!
Warming it up, the big V-twin rumbled and shook,
In a matter of seconds Santa was hooked!
The elves clapped and they cheered as Santa dumped the clutch,
Above the roar of the Staintunes, Santa didn't hear much.
The air turned blue as tyre dust mixed with woodchip "snow,"
Santa was on a mission and time was running low!
From house to house he flew that night, a grin from ear to ear,
Knowing there is a big-bore kit if Rudolph strikes again next year.
With all the toys passed out by light, Santa gave himself a hand
and
Said "I bet I still got time for a lap around the Isle of Man!"
So, as those mighty wheels started to spin,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!" was heard on the wind.
If you think this tale is bullshit and you still need some proof,
Explain to your neighbours the oil and skid marks on your roof!!
Happy Holidays to everyone!!!!!
Rich Marchand